Guidelines for Protecting Purity in Dating 2

6. Realize where you go and who you go with will influence your sexual desires. It’s our nature to be influenced by our surroundings. When we put ourselves in a godly atmosphere with godly people, we are influenced toward godliness. When we put ourselves in an ungodly atmosphere with ungodly people we are influenced toward ungodliness.
“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” (I Corinthians 15:28)
“He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” (Proverbs 13:20) If you choose to date, make it a time to explore minds and souls, not bodies.
“Stay away from the foolish man, because you will not find knowledge on his lips.” (Proverbs 14:7) “. . . rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God . . . Have
nothing to do with them.” (2 Timothy 3:4-5)
7. Realize your date is first and foremost your brother or sister in Christ—not your “lover.”
“Treat older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity” (1 Timothy 5:2). Don’t go into dating with the goal of romance, but the goal of spending time with your brother or sister. When you begin a relationship, a rule of thumb is, don’t do
anything physically you wouldn’t do with your brother or sister. If a Christ-centered and positive relationship develops, then you might move to cautious displays of affection such as hand-holding. But be alert to the difference between appropriate affection on the one hand and passion on the other. You must stay safely back from the line sexual intimacy. It’s very hard to move back once you’ve crossed a line—so don’t cross it in the first place.
This person may end up being a lifelong friend, or married to your best friend. Don’t do anything with him or her that would cause you to be embarrassed or self-conscious if you end up being best man or maid of honor at his wedding.
8. Focus on talk, not touch; conversation, not contact. Dating is a time to explore minds and souls, not bodies. Treat your date as a subject to listen to and understand and
appreciate, not an object to experiment with, conquer or satisfy your desires.
9. Avoid fast moving relationships and instant intimacy. Pace your relationship. Take it step
by step, don’t go into a free fall. A car moving too fast is likely to swerve out of control when it hits a slick spot. Keep your foot near the brake. Don’t let this relationship get out of control.
10. Plan the entire evening in advance, with no big gaps. Gaps always get filled, often with
temptations to sexual impurity. Know what you’re doing and either stick with the plan or go somewhere safe, where you’re in the sight of others (particularly others who respect the need for purity). You can still have a private conversation even in a room full of people. But their presence will encourage you to focus on the conversation rather than on temptation to impurity.