THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND OBSESSION

As I lead one of the groups at a rural part of Nigeria where idol worship is prevalent, part of the stories we learnt in the group was the Amnon and Tamar story from 2 Samuel 13: 1-22. We tried to visualize and draw out lessons from the story. While doing that, a part of the story caught my attention; Amnon first loved Tamar, then that love turned to obsession and after carrying out his evil plan as advised by Jonadab, he hated her more than he loved her. Yes, I know the difference between love and hatred, I kept wondering what the difference was between love and obsession. So I decided to check out my dictionary as well as sample opinions. I will like to share my findings and summations with you.

Love is defined in “1 Corinthians 13 has been patient, kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.”

A friend defined obsession as “an intense desire for someone or something that is self-oriented” and I do agree with him because from context Amnon wanted to satisfy his longing and since he could not fulfill that he looked haggard and miserable and Jonadab noticed this and questioned him which lead to the advice. My intense feeling for someone or something can either be obsession or true love depending on my motive i.e. is it self-oriented or the object/person oriented. Most of us young folks today are caught up between this unconsciously. I can love something or someone, and before I know I become so preoccupied with it to the point that I can go to any length to fulfill that longing even if it means hurting others. We need to keep asking ourselves the question, am I preoccupied with thoughts of this? Is it self-oriented?

Let me drive this down a little further. I can also relate this to my love for Christ. One of the verses that has stayed with me for a while is “John 14: 21 which says Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." My love for God can turn to obsession if I don’t watch it. Preoccupation with self can cause this; when my prayers are self-centered, my act of service is because I want to get something in return among others. This is pure obsession! If I claim to love God, then it must be all about God not me. I must seek to know and do what is on his heart and mind. I must seek to serve because it’s a priviledge. I must seek to fully know and obey God’s commands no matter how hard that is even if it costs me my life. “Luke 14:26-27 says If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters--yes, even his own life--he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.”

Hard teaching right??? This made the difference and shows that I truly love God. This what made the difference for Peter and Co in Acts 4. In verse 18 to 20 “Then they called them in again and commanded them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John replied, "Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God's sight to obey you rather than God. For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard." The only way our generation can feel the impact of who we are in Jesus, is by displaying our true love for him. 

kaybis Aug, 16